My First Shovelling

Up until now I always resided in condo life and never tussled with shovels, salt and all that winter artillery. It wasn’t my cup of coffee, yet sometimes; time is the best teacher as we evolve during life. Many months ago my family and I finally ventured into our first house where their words always haunted me, “you’ll enjoy every aspect of house life but wait the till snow comes”, harped my comrades.

Guess what?

Mother Nature had a ghastly treat for me last Thursday as it arrived in the form of some flaky white stuff. With nowhere to hide or run, I ultimately had to suck-it-up and met my enemy whom I wasn’t eager on confronting. Our city was belated for snow while we habituated in decent December temperatures, until God forwarded his “Season’s Greetings” to us. Voila, an exemplary 20cm blanket of snow sheathed our territory!

Peering out of the window with my hands over my head, I knew this had to be done as I slithered out of my bed and fortified my willpower for the upcoming hours.

As I made my way down the stairs, armed with my hulking pants, balmy shirt and hefty jacket, I captivated my final warmth of home heat and dreadfully opened the main door. Turning my head from closing the door to facing outside I conceived the appreciation of what 20cm really looks like. “Holy Crap!” and a few other foul words creeped out of my mouth as I visually examined my method of attack on my single car driveway (sidewalk splits driveway for two cars, see pic).

I’ve played in this snow when I was a kid and was never uneasy with what 20cm looks like but now I had to clean this stuff, not for the safety of my family but for neighbours who use my sidewalk for everyday use.

Like Batman mustering his armoury, I quickly exposed the garage door, grasping my shovel, gloves and a bag of salt while turning around and remotely closing my “Batcave.”

“Alright, where do I start from?”, I muttered to myself. I advanced to the porch and quickly shoved aside the flaky stuff as my shovel was continuously interrupted with the stonework (my patio floor has interlocking stones) during the shovelling process. The brief banging caused frustration as my rhythm was hindered at times.

Fist pumping in success, I realized that this wasn’t that bad as I auspiciously completed “phase one”. Staring at the remainder of the snow like a daring kid staring at a bully during recess time, I was apprehended by the fact this would ingest quite an amount of exertion. As I stepped down from the porch, I positioned my shovel and attacked the path that is attached to my main driveway. Cleaning this portion wasn’t a smooth ride as I was occasionally welcomed with clunks of ice that got me sweating faster than P90X workout. Subsequently, I then zoomed around the first parking spot that borders the path and huffed my way through.

After conquering the path and the first half of the driveway, I proceeded onto to the “never ending” sidewalk. Scrapping off the snow in the middle of the sidewalk was a breeze, conversely cleaning the sides was difficult as I was continuously reacquainting myself with grass. My neighbours probably surmised if I was unearthing for gold or shovelling the sidewalk? Tension of completing the ends of the sidewalk was distinguishing the “imaginary” property line where I was suppose to fabricate a “continue from here” point for my neighbours, since I was the early trooper out of the two of them.

The final scope was the bottom portion of my driveway that’s next to the road. Yes, success was a mere 10 minutes away! I found my tempo and quickly scrapped my way around my parked car like a Zamboni at an ice rink, but there was a twist arriving down the street. A massive snowplough mercilessly planted a 3 foot high wall of snow at the end of my driveway and buzzed down the street, as if nothing happened. The driver was cold looking and expressionless as he inexorably laid a number along all driveways within his route. He dumped that snow like it was a cheap coffin! I was in awe, angered and had the urge to annihilate something but then I collected myself and “sucked it up”.

Huffing and puffing through the final batch and bridging my family back with accessibility was like running laps around a track. I was tanked but I finally did it! Now I can go back inside with pride and tell my family that it was rough but not that bad. Clutching the shovel and returning back to the front of the house, I snatched the bag of salt that I left by the garage door. With a million dollar smile on my face, I walked around all the shovelled paths hinting salt like a baker sprinkling powdered sugar on a pastry. I was the man, but there was something missing.

As I made my way around the cars I noticed that I was inept to see my counterpart from it’s windows. Fudge! I forgot to clean the cars before shovelling! Aw man! I sat down in disbelief and was seething with anger. After cooling down with my head in my lap, I slowly got up and made my way towards the cars. “How the heck did I forget that?”, I wondered repeatedly. I grabbed a brush that I kept in my car and neatly made my away around both vehicles. The snow that released from those cars was significant and obviously required some more exertion.

After walking around like a zombie in shock I finally bulldozed the remainder of the snow and felt better that I finally got it done, the right way. My execution plan was completely aimless and I totally cultured my methodology of shovelling the driveway.

Have you ever had an instance like this? Or even worse?



Filed under Humor, Personal

60 responses to “My First Shovelling

  1. A part of winter life. 😉 Proficiency does not necessarily engender fondness.

  2. Nice job! Yes I’ve had it much worse and must say I’m not a fan. I don’t mind the actual job of shoveling, but just plain don’t like the snow! I’m a warm weather guy myself. 🙂 Funny!

  3. That holy crap moment becomes holy shit and then holy f%&$ and then I’m getting a snow blower and eventually: Screw this! I’m moving to Boca!

    We’re at snow blower.

    Just hanging on for a few more years. Like twenty. 😉

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. I must say you did a pretty good job, I love snow but hated the clearing bit, i leave such ‘manly’ tasks to my hubby! Thanks for following my blog Salman, yours is quiet cool, I love it!

  5. raeme67

    Very funny! Another blog to follow!

  6. Thank you for following my blog.

    May 2013 bring you many blessings !

  7. Bad news: Shoveling is a necessary evil. Good news: Efficiency will improve over time.

    Meanwhile, that seems to be a hefty snowfall —- Happy New Year.

  8. Enjoy winter life lol! At least you get to make snowmen in your front yard!!

  9. I’m the type who dreads having to do something, but then when I do it, I actually enjoy it. :p

  10. You really did a good job with your first shoveling! I’ve always seen ‘snow’ as a pretty natural decor for the Christmas season, I guess even with Christmas decor, too much is too bad, 🙂
    We don’t have snow here, so we actually have to pay to experience artificial snow, haha! Even my nephew’s Christmas wish list included ‘snow’ 🙂

  11. I can only imagine what it is like to have to shovel snow.
    I’m in Australia and if it snowed here where I live we’d all die of shock.
    I’ve only ever seen or touched snow a couple of times in my life when on holidays in far far away places.

  12. I hate shoveling. Hate it. I live alone now and luckily haven’t had too much to deal withm but I get nervous!

  13. Hey Salman! Thanks for following my blog. I’m very grateful that my husband always clears our snow so I don’t have to! He’s great! -Lori

  14. HAHAHA! too funny! I’ve never shoveled the snow but you are a Rock Star for doing it. I’ll just live though your words I think. hehehe

  15. Thank you for visiting my blog today. I appreciate the time you took to stop by. May your day be filled with joy and peace.

  16. Snow isn’t quite as pretty when you are an adult and have to shovel it, is it! But didn’t we love it as kids?

  17. be careful! shovelling is one of the main contributors to hear attacks througout the winter so take it slow and invest in a good ergonomic shovel, if not a snow blower.

  18. Thakns for finding me on my blog. Nice to find you. I send you sympathies. I HATE shoveling, thus I moved from Boston to San Francisco! :+)

  19. Boy, does this bring back memories of winters in Nebraska-your pictures say it all! Thank you too for stopping by my blog-I appreciate it-

  20. I just consider it a great workout with the benefits of fresh air and connecting with neighbors who are puffing along next door! Thanks for your interest in my blog.

  21. Certainly, congrats on your first home. Never fully appreciated how nice it is to see snow in photos, not so much in front of my house, which has only happened once in my life and that was actually a lot of fun, especially for our dogs. 🙂

  22. nice writing style, great story

  23. I had to convert 20 cm into inches before I got a full appreciation of your task. As a seasoner shoveler, my suggestion is to figure out who on your street has a snowblower, and become their friend.

    My neighbor loves to use his snowblower, so I often wake up to him doing my driveway at 6 am. We make sure he’s well taken care of with goodies and gas money.

  24. jalal michael sabbagh.

    I lived eight years in Chicago ,l know what snow shoveling is.Your post brought back nice memories.Thank you for your recent visit and your like (the authentic…../Substance..)

  25. “Staring at the remainder of the snow like a daring kid staring at a bully during recess time” great line. Love it. Great work,… it was back breaking & beautiful simultaneously.

  26. Nice to meet you on Blog sphere,and thanks for liking my Blog on the Lift Bridge, which is less than an hour away from Toronto. And surely we have done a lot of shoveeling this winter. I’ll visit your blog again, and hope to see you drop by mine too–I blog a lot about life int he GTA.

  27. I have shoveled 8 inches of snow only to have my clean driveway recovered with snow over night. I decided to bunker down and wait until the snow melted on its own.

  28. Heya i’m for the primary time here. I found this board and I to
    find It truly helpful & it helped me out a lot.
    I’m hoping to give one thing back and aid others such as you helped me.

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